Dont Be Cruel

Hello world.

I decided to start blogging to let out my hurtfulness and to find peace. So if you even care to read this, bare with me.  See, I am a very tenderhearted and caring person who basically cares way too much alot of the time. No matter what it is I always end up hurt or heartbroken. I just recently have found that it doesn't matter how much you care about someone, if they honestly do not care in the same way then your feelings aren't even considered. They are just looked over. Because to them it's not what you feel or want, it's what they want and if they are going to be selfish and inconsiderate then honestly they deserve themselves.

I put so much of myself into a relationship, thinking oh "well this could be the one" or "what if i don't then he runs away?" and I'm tired of thinking too much. I want to be "worry-free" with a guy. I don't want to hafta deal with any drama or be scared to even say anything to upset him and he'll want to end it over any lil thing. I don't want to hafta "tip-toe" around a guy because I'm scared to lose him. You both SHOULD have that trust where your not scared to lose each other because you KNOW they will always be there. What happened to that confidence in knowing? I hate those feelings you have right after a breakup when it's like numbness and you just don't know what to do or who to turn to for support because honestly, you don't want to hear "I told you so" or " I knew he wasn't going to make you happy". Because you still care for the person who left you, you still want the best for them and I guess that lets you see how much of a good person I try to be.

I think this new year I'm going to try to be more selfish. Try to think of myself more and not worry about others all the time. I'm sorry if that sounds awful of me, but I have always thought about other people..how they feel, what they are thinking, what they want.. and never really asked myself those questions. "LeAnn, what do YOU want?" So this year I'm going to get my future straight and think about me for once... and if the right guy comes along while i'm doing that..then I guess we'll hafta see if he really is "Mr. Right". Because I'm seriously tired of finding "Mr. Wrong". I deserve better. A guy who's main goal is to not let me worry. To be there for me.

 A friend once gave me this quote and I think it's beautiful. It's by one of my favorite authors:


"A man out there is meant to be the love of your life, your best friend, your soul mate, the one you can tell your dreams to...He’ll stare at you during the movies, even though he paid $8 to see it. He’ll call to say goodnight or just cause he is missing you. He’ll look in your eyes & tell you, you’re the most beautiful girl in the world, & for the first time in your life, you’ll believe it." - Nicholas Sparks




THAT is what all girls want. Someone you can count on...who is your best friend and soulmate. 




Thanks for reading. 
 -LeAnn